The Reason for The Season

I love Christmas... the whole season. The anticipation, the lights, the story, the wonder, time with family, festivities. Christmas has a way of making us feel cozy right at the darkest time of the year. The Light shines in the darkness and we huddle around it.

Of course, for Christians, the main focus of the holiday is the birth of the Baby, none other than the Savior of the world. What a wonder to think that the Lord of everything should stoop so low to be born among us... out of His love for us. Amazing.

But that's just the beginning. Sure, Jesus is the reason for the season. But in a larger sense, Easter is the reason for the season. Without the work of Easter, Christmas would be a fascinating oddity.

I sometimes wonder why Christmas has grown to be the biggest holiday among us instead of Easter. I guess it's a bit more difficult to market sin and suffering, death and resurrection. The cross that spanned the distance between heaven and earth. That all doesn't play so well to the culture at large.

So, fine then, let Christmas get all the hype and hoopla, decorations and movies, parties and baked goods by the dozens. But in the midst of the merriment, keep your eye on the horizon. There is a cross on a hillside, a stone rolled away, a temple veil torn in two. Easter changed everything. Easter is the reason for the season.

Considering the Poultry

I bought "cage free" eggs yesterday. I've never done that before, but there they were, and I started thinking that it was probably a lot nicer to be a chicken wandering around than cooped up in a cage all the time. So I gave the "cage free" farmer my money.

Maybe I'm just feeling  more poultry-sensitive since I watched the documentary "My Life as a Turkey." Seriously. Here's the link so you can watch it for yourself if you are so inclined... http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/episodes/my-life-as-a-turkey/full-episode/7378/

It's really a fascinating look at how this man, Joe Hutto, raises a group of wild turkeys from eggs to adulthood, becoming "one of them," as it were. There's more to a turkey than meets the eye, and Hutto gained amazing insights into their lives and the natural world around them.

Thus, at least for now, we eat "cage free" eggs at our house.

A Re-Birthday

December 13, many years ago. I was a senior in high school on a Young Life retreat to a camp in North Carolina called Windy Gap. It was a fun and crazy time, a mix of lots of laughs and heart-to-hearts.

It was a Saturday evening and there was a speaker (I have no idea who it was now). He talked about me (how did he know?). About how I couldn't be good enough in my own strength. How I fell short over and over even by my own standards, not to mention a holy God's. This imperfection, whether deliberate or accidental, he labeled "sin" and I was stuck with it.

And he talked about Jesus - as I'd heard many times before. About how He was a real man with real temptations who really loved me and died for me. About how only He could take care of my sin problem, and give me new life, eternal life. Believe and trust, he said. And I did.

It was a cold and windy winter night when I walked up the mountainside. I searched the stars and embraced the wind. And I placed my heart in His hands. I really prayed, for maybe the first time. And I was changed.

Maybe you couldn't tell it by looking at me... same hair, same clothes, same teenage insecurities. But a profound change had taken place within. A new peace and an unshakeable joy were sprouting up and taking root.

And I have never been the same.

Wonder in the Midst of Us

Presents, parties, treats, and general festivities... 'tis the season to run around like a crazy person trying to get it all done while clinging to the hope of reflecting on the meaning of Christmas... Standing in awe. Kneeling at the manger.

The trick of course, in the midst of all the busyness, is to find ways to let the peace of that first Holy Night settle me. Sometimes at night, after the kids have gone to bed, I like to sit at the foot of the Christmas tree with only its lights shining. As I gaze up, the colorful lights sparkle in my eyes and I find once more the childlike wonder of Christmas.

It is the wonder of a new star in the heavens. Of shepherds visited by angels. Of God in the flesh. It is the wonder of hope - of new life - for a dead world.

It is a story so improbable that many doubt. So pivotal that it divides history. So lavish in the lengths that Love would go to that it defies logic.

Take some time to remember. Stand in awe. And carry the wonder of Christmas in the midst of the season's busyness.

Night Time Musing

It's night and the house is miraculously silent save for the ticking of a clock and my own click-click-clicking on the computer. The stillness of night is a haven for thinking thoughts. I don't manage much stillness these days (or nights).

I used to relish such time and use it to set words in motion in poetry I fancied significant. There's nothing quite like pouring out your heart on paper, dressing up the truth in metaphor. My house is a fortress, a lone beacon of light, guarding me against the darkness of a naked world.

Looking at a Heart

Anna was telling me today that her class at school was learning about the human body, and they got to see a real heart on a video. She said it was gross.

Will asked Anna, "Did you see any sins?"

"What?" she asked back, obviously confused.

"Did you see any sins?" he repeated.

At this point I realized what he meant. Growing up in a Christian home, he knows that everyone has sin in his/her "heart." So naturally he expected that if one actually looked at a heart, one would see sins there.

"You can't really see the sins there, Will," I explained.

"Oh," he replied, and carried on with what he was doing.

Voices in My Head

I need to clear my thoughts, but I just can't get these voices out of my head. No, don't worry, I'm not going crazy. It's just the kids playing in the other room... chattering, giggling, complaining, trying their best to navigate relationships and power struggles and still have a good time.

Big Sister is always in charge, which works great until she takes it too far, and Middle Child decides he's had enough and it's his turn. Little Guy pretty much goes along with the other two, just happy to be included.

Currently they're playing they are a family of mice, but they should be cats I think. I've heard it said that dealing with small children is like herding cats, and I can definitely see the merits of the analogy.

Imagine a pleasant woman entering a store with three little feline friends. "Come along!" she calls. She is on a mission to find a new dress for an upcoming weekend event.

Cat #1 slinks along beside the woman, periodically dashing between her feet and nearly causing her to fall. Cat #2 notices the tags hanging from the clothing on the racks, and begins a swatting game. Cat #3 simply lays down to lick his fur, perfectly oblivious to the demands and desires of the lovely woman.

If the woman can get all three cats moving in the same direction, it is highly likely that they are chasing each other and bound to topple over some racks of clothing. Such is the daily challenge of the mother of more than one child.

So, yes, my kids are in my head, and it is hard to get them out. They are often all-consuming, even when they are not present. They can challenge my wits, my patience, my creativity. They explore, test, question, whine, protest, giggle, and leap for joy. They are me. And that in itself is the greatest source of joy and frustration.

Farewell to Lucky

Just before the weather turned colder, we released our little Lucky Lizard in the backyard. His tail was growing back and he seemed to have adjusted to his missing back foot.

It took a couple weeks of persuasion, but the kids finally agreed to set him free without crying about it. So one afternoon we gathered together, and released Lucky onto the trumpet plant in the backyard, in hopes that he will peek at us through the kitchen window occasionally.

It has been a week and we have not seen our little reptile friend. I hope he is doing well and we made the right decision. His tank still sits empty, and the kids ask when we will get hermit crabs.

Lucky Needs to Eat

So we took in this green anole, newly named Lucky, and had to figure out what to feed him. The whole family got involved in multiple bug hunts to find food for our new friend. We caught a bunch of grasshoppers, and put some in with Lucky, but he seemed uninterested.

After a day or two, we did some research on the internet and learned our anole really desires crickets and mealworms, and that his food should be about half the length of his head. Fascinating.

So Jon stopped by Petsmart to get mealworms and brought home superworms instead (they had no little capes, super though they were). We opened the superworms and quickly realized they were huge (in a relative sort of way) and they had legs, which I thought quite odd for worms. Lucky was not at all interested in them.

Fortunately, we were able to return the superworms, and I bought a small box of small crickets. No one has actually seen Lucky eat a cricket, but he seems to be doing well and I think the crickets are disappearing (although they do tend to hide), so I think we're on to something.

I have found, however, that crickets, which I used to think were such cute, friendly little bugs, kinda creep me out. I try not to look at them too much except to get a head count. It might be because these crickets are pale and not the black ones I'm used to. Whatever it is, I'm not liking them very much. Anna and Will at first tried to name them, but I told them it's best not to name the food... unless they want to name them Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.

Our New Pet: Lucky the Lizard

This past Friday Jon found a little green anole who had a crushed back leg and missing tail. Naturally, we took him in as a rescue, fearing he would not be able to A) catch food and B) escape predators with only three legs. We improvised a round fish bowl for his new home, and named him Lucky. The kids were delighted!

Lucky didn't really look very comfortable in the fish bowl, though. It was far too curvy for him, even with the grass and sticks we put in there to make him feel at home. After a couple days, since he was still alive, we took the plunge and bought a real terrarium for him, complete with gravel and orchid bark (apparently anoles really like orchid bark, which, just so you know, is not the actual bark of orchids). We added a couple small potted plants and voila! Instant green anole happy habitat!

Only he didn't look so happy to me. Anna thought he looked like he was smiling. But to me, Lucky seemed to be a bit depressed... the way he gazed endlessly out the window, the way he looked at me with suspicion. He appeared to be longing for the world outside. For freedom.

Freedom. I began to feel conflicted about keeping our little friend. Is it better to live long in a new place in safety? Or to live free, risking a shorter life and even traumatic death? "Live free or die!" Right? But I don't know... he's an anole after all so maybe he doesn't really mind so much or think so deeply.

So for now, we take care of him, and I think he has perked up a bit. Maybe it's the crickets that have won him over...

With Open Arms

This morning at church, getting ready to go up for communion, I was thinking. Thinking about how - particularly when we come to church - God receives His children to Himself with open arms. He is our Refuge.

We come to Him humbly, laying our baggage at His feet. And He says, "Come to me, everyone who is weak and weary."

The world is a mess out there, and we've all done our part to make it worse. But His love is stronger than that... "unyielding as the grave." He receives His children with open arms of forgiveness. We give Him our failures, regrets, sins... And He gives us peace and rest and hope and life. It's not a fair exchange really.

Some, from the outside, may look at Christians and think that we think we are so good and self-righteous. But true Christians know first and foremost that they are totally unworthy of the amazing gift of God. We have forgiveness and life only by the grace of God, not based on any "good" thing we might try to do.

And the gift is all-inclusive... an open invitation to the masses to Come. Taste and See that God is good. But only those who Come receive the gift.

Reflections on the U2 concert

So Jon and I left the kids with trustworthy people, and hit the road for Nashville this past weekend to see U2 in concert. They're a band I've loved since high school, and have always wanted to see in concert. It's not just their music, but also Bono's Christian faith and his commitment to helping people around the world. He does the good that he can.

We drove 8 hours to Nashville on Saturday, stretched our legs, and got a bite to eat at Chipotle Mexican Grill before heading over to take our place in line. We had general admission tickets, and were hoping to get into the inner circle. But, even though we got in line an hour before the gates would open (so three hours before the opening act would start), we stood down the long street and around the corner. No inner circle, but we did get really close to the outer walkway, so that was good!

Everyone seemed really nice, and while we waited for the show to begin, we chatted with two friendly couples standing next to us - one from Mississippi and the other from Philadelphia. The crowd in the area around us was very well-behaved.

The opening act was Florence and the Machine. She has an great voice, and made me smile as she skipped around the stage in her long flowing outfit like a little girl. But she wasn't why we were there. (She was, however, why the two girls next to us were there... singing along every word and shrieking their excitement in my ear... eek! The girls disappeared after Florence left the stage. Are you kidding me??)

After what seemed like forever, U2 took the stage... how cool is that?!?! With lights and smoke and all the effects, the energy filled the stadium. In 90+ degrees, they gave it their all, and the passion and energy overflowed. It's amazing to be in the presence of someone pouring out their all and loving what they're doing and making a difference in the world in their own way. It's inspiring.

One highlight was that we got to sing part of Amazing Grace with Bono (and 40,000 other fans, of course). Then at the end of the concert, Bono has this guy from the audience come up... a blind guitar player as indicated on the sign he was holding. Bono lets "Dude" play "All I Want is You" - dedicated to Dude's wife Andrea - while he (Bono) sings it. What a wow moment! Then, when it's over, Bono gives Dude his guitar!! The crowd went wild.

It's funny how, in a crowd like that, a sort of camaraderie forms, so that a gesture to one member is somehow received by all members. I think we were all touched by the act of kindness. And it was a perfect example of being prepared and ready for opportunity when it may present itself. Obviously, Dude had learned and played U2 songs prior to this. Then he put himself in a position to be seen, held his little sign, and hoped for the opportunity. When it came, he was ready. I think I'll pull out my old guitar and start practicing...

After the concert, Jon and I drove a bit and then stopped for the night. A few hours later we got up and got back on the road home. It was fun having an adventure for just the two of us... haven't done that since the kids came along. We should do it again some time. The only bad thing was that I missed him terribly when he went back to work on Tuesday.

Summer Good-byes

So summer is coming in waves at our house. Will graduated from pre-K last week, Evan finishes his morning out program tomorrow, and Anna has 2.5 weeks left (which she insists is not fair).

I hate the end of things - routines, good times, the familiar.

I feel the worst for Will. He is moving on from the school he has attended for three years, although he is looking forward to going to Anna's school. He is saying good-bye to beloved teachers, three best friends who will be moving away, and dear cousins who will be moving sometime.

Will dislikes change more than I. So far, he has only cried about missing his teachers. But we could hardly get him to go to sleep the night he graduated - he was so upset. I had to promise visits and keeping in touch and all.

It's a crazy, mobile world we have today, and I wish somehow I could insulate my kids from all the change that lurks about.

When I was in 6th grade, my family moved away from our neighborhood, relatives, and state - where I had always lived... Home. (It seemed strange to me to move away from home.) Prior to that, I can only recall maybe two other kids who had moved away from my school. People didn't move. There was a sense of continuity, community, history, roots. Sure, you can still find that in some small towns these days, but not so much in the population at large.

My kids already don't even have that nostalgia about our house. They see other pretty houses and ask if we can move there, or when we are going to move again (we moved across town three years ago).

So whatever. Things are different now, and it's both good and bad. "It is what it is," as Jon likes to say.

But it kinda gives me that homesick feeling that I had at the end of my college years, faced with the prospect of all my dearest friends scattering in different directions. Wouldn't it be great if we could all just move to the same place and always be together?

But we all follow our dreams or desires or plans. We go our separate ways. We move. We keep in touch. Things change. Life goes on. We fill our lives with Good-byes and Hellos.

The Family Brand

Lately I've been thinking about the concept of branding. Typically applied to the marketing of products and businesses, branding can really be applied to almost anything, including yourself and your family.

Family branding is related to the idea of leaving a legacy. What do you want to be known for? What is your theme, your vibe, your reputation? I've met some families known for their thriftiness, or their indulgence of their kids, or their generous and helpful spirit.

To a certain extent, your family character develops on its own, an extension of members' personalities and opportunities. But I think it's good to at least be conscious of the brand idea... to think about it, maybe determine where you want to be heading and how to steer in that direction.

If we want our kids to be passionate and compassionate, to care about the bigger world, and so on, what steps do we need to take now in order to head that way? What activities, attitudes, priorities do we engage in, and do they support or undermine our ultimate goals?

In our family, we try to emphasize the biblical ideas of "love one another" and "do to others as you would have them do to you." It may sound rather generic, but these values, when emphasized consistently, can build the foundation of the strong, godly character that we desire. I think at this stage, with little kids, those two ideas will lead us in the right direction, and hopefully develop a family brand worth having.

Let Me Eat Cake - But Make it Yummy, Please!

Is it just me or do cakes not taste as good as they used to? I used to love birthday cakes - sweet and simple - with a side of ice cream! More recently, though, I have been disappointed over and over.

Perhaps I've become too finicky, prefering the finer cakes. Or perhaps the bakeries are cutting corners and offering lower quality fare.

A couple weeks ago we had a cake from Kroger that had practically no taste whatsoever. It was pretty, and looked like it would taste good. But really, it was just a waste of calories. Upon careful inspection of the lid, Jon noticed the expiration date was for July! There is nothing natural about an April cake being good until July. It was surely made of plastic or something. I threw it away, less than half-eaten. How sad.

I guess I will have to resort to either ordering from higher quality bakeries or just making cakes myself.

The Whisper of God

Have you ever thought about why God so frequently speaks to us in a still small voice? He often is the whisper even in the midst of our storms and chaos. I've always thought it was kind of neat that One with limitless power would approach us so gently.

Today it occurred to me that God's whisper provides another beautiful illustration of how He relates to us as His children. Sometimes we might think that God is far off above us, so He might need to shout or cause a ruckus to get our attention, especially when life gets crazy. And sometimes He might choose to do so.

But He is not a distant God at all. He is up close. Like a mother comforting her child who's gotten hurt. Like a father snuggling his tired little one. In these moments, parents are not yelling down the hall, but rather whispering shhh's and gently comforting their loved ones, up close, cheek to cheek even.

And so is God toward us, His children by faith. He is near. Sadly, we may overlook Him at times, as we are not naturally inclined to see beyond the visible. But He is there with His still small voice, beckoning. Always loving.

Beautiful and Broken

Beautiful. Doesn't everyone want to be beautiful? To be valued? To be treasured? We may have different definitions of how that looks exactly, but I think we all want to be beautiful in some way.

There's a song on the radio that says, "You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You were made for so much more than all of this." And it's true. We're there. We've "arrived." We're all beautiful and valued and treasured - whether we realize it or not. Each of us is special and unique.

But knowledge of beauty so easily leads to vanity. There's more to know.

Broken. We are broken. It's the flip side of the same coin. We have all, in our own ways, failed to live up to the Good and the Should. We've seen some hard times and had some struggles. We've tried "our best," but it wasn't enough. We fail to meet our own standards, let alone Perfection.

Beautiful and broken. God sees both. He sees our deep value, the glimmer of His own image. He sees our desperate need, our weakness, our rebellion.

And this is where He meets us. His great love for us compels Him to rescue us from our self-destruction. He gives us the freedom to reject Him, but only He can make us whole and bring us into our full beauty. As a pastor* once said, "God loves you just the way you are. But He loves you too much to let you stay that way."




*The pastor was Cam Huxford, Savannah Christian Church.

Got Milk? Seriously.

Today in the check-out line at Kroger I caught a glimpse of white out of the corner of my eye. When I turned to look at the check-out conveyor belt thing, I saw it was full of milk. Seriously. Full. The Indian (?) couple behind me had bought I don't know how many jugs of milk - gallons and half gallons all crowded on together. Enough to completely cover the check-out counter. I looked on in amazement.

"That's a lot of milk!" I said to the man. I'm sure he was impressed by my keen powers of observation. I just couldn't help myself.

"I drink it all," he replied with a chuckle.

"Oh, you'll be very strong!" I encouraged him. Then his wife (?) started talking to him in another language. I paid for my balloons and headed out into the rain.

Happy Groundhog Day!

Don't you just love Groundhog Day? It's practically a perfect holiday. No social pressure to buy stuff, make appearances, or eat indulgently. No deep or controversial meanings. Nothing to defend or get an attitude over.

Just a cute, furry, little groundhog looking for his shadow, and some people looking forward to Spring. It's fun. It's whimsical.

I think we need more animal-themed holidays. Who's up for Moose Day?