Conversation with Will

Driving in the van the other day, Will commented that one of his friends had been mean so he didn't want to be his friend any more. I explained that everyone can be mean sometimes (even my precious little Will!), but we can still forgive them and be friends. I said the only one who is never ever mean is God.

"Except for that one time," Will replied.

"What??!!" I asked, bewildered.

"God was mean one time," Will insisted. I asked when that was, and Will answered, "When he sent that fish to swallow Jonah."

Ah... God, theology, the world through the eyes of a child! And the fun we parents have in trying to help them sort it all out!

Thanksgiving, please!

I went to AC Moore the other day in search of some crafty Thanksgiving stuff to do with Anna and Will. My quest led me up and down the aisles past rows and rows of Christmas crafts and decor, and won me a bewildered look from one salesperson. I was sent to the small Halloween clearance section, which had sadly run out of wooden turkeys to paint. Not a pilgrim in sight - not even a place for pilgrims. Sigh. Another salesperson redirected me and I arrived, at last, at the even smaller clearance Thanksgiving/fall section.

I happily found a couple activities to commemorate the season - pilgrims and all! But it was disconcerting to find that, two and a half weeks before Thanksgiving, the holiday is already "clearanced" to make way for Christmas. I love Christmas - the decorations, activities, music, and the meaning of it all - but can't we take time to savor Thanksgiving, too?! Thanksgiving is a great holiday, certainly more meaningful than the over-marketed Halloween. I love Christmas, but I don't want to think about it yet. I want to take time to be thankful, to tell the pilgrims' story, mindful of the harvest and the many ways that God provides for us. I want to cozy up to the browns and golds and oranges of autumn, reflecting on our many blessings, before embracing the jolly red and green to come. "Give thanks with a grateful heart..." I think the world could use a bigger dose of that. By the way, I was thankful that my Thanksgiving finds were on sale - I got those nice pilgrim and turkey stickers for a bargain price!

Reformation Day

Happy Hallo... Reformation Day! On this day in the year 1517 Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the church in Wittenberg, inadvertently starting the Protestant Reformation. So what, you ask? Well, the Christian church at that time had gotten off track, to say the least, leaving Luther despairing and angry at God. In time as he searched the Scriptures for himself, he rediscovered the gospel message... salvation by grace alone, through faith alone. Yes, Luther was right that on his own he was a hopeless, chronic sinner who could never please a holy God. But God, in His grace, sent Jesus to fulfill the Law that we never ever could. God's justice is satisfied and we are free to receive His love and life eternal. There is nothing we can do to earn God's favor; we can never be good enough. But we can rest and have peace because Jesus has done that for us. When we have faith in Jesus, we are at peace with God, a new creation, pure and blameless in His sight.

God is unchangeable, unshakable - nothing can separate us from His love. Nothing. That is why Luther could say "sin boldly," meaning we don't need to tiptoe around wondering and worrying whether we are good enough (we are not) or whether we're making the right decision every time. We will still sin, but we stand on the firm and strong grace of God, and He is able to make us stand. We can be confident in our living because we are confident in God's grace and His work on our behalf. "Sin boldly, but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly, for He is victorious over sin, death, and the world."

Martin Luther didn't set out to start a new church; he hated that the church split. His hope was that the church would see her errors and repent and return to the gospel of grace. He learned the truth and was changed by it and would not turn from it, even putting his life and the lives of others in jeopardy. He said, "I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen."

The Oleander Caterpillar Catch and Release Program

I have a pretty vine-type plant growing in an ornamental pot outside the front door. The plant makes beautiful pink flowers and was originally purchased to spruce up our previous home while we were trying to sell it. So the other day I came home from somewhere and noticed the poor state of said plant - half the leaves were gone and what remained was crawling with caterpillars. Red caterpillars with black hair sticking straight up all over. Eek!

I like caterpillars myself, but I could not let them destroy my pretty little plant, so I gathered them into two plastic containers (red for Anna and blue for Will, of course), poked holes in the lids, and set them on the kitchen table. Anna and Will were delighted to see their new, temporary pets when they got home. They gave the caterpillars some leaves to munch and carried the containers all around the house with them. That night Jon released the caterpillars in the yard, hoping they would move to another, less well-liked, plant.

The next day I gathered the caterpillars off my pretty little plant again into the same red and blue containers. Jon looked online and found out that they were Oleander Caterpillars, and then had a brilliant idea - let's take them to some place with lots of oleanders (apparently my little plant is some variety of oleander). Anna and Will were excited that the caterpillars were going to get to ride in the van and go live somewhere with lots of friends and food. We loaded up the minivan and headed to the Savannah Mall, which is bordered by a lovely oleander hedge!

At the mall we scoped out the oleanders and, sure enough, found more Oleander Caterpillars. Anna and Will carefully placed their caterpillars on the bushes, and we wished them farewell, confident that our little friends would be happy there.

Schools

Anna has started Kindergarten this fall at a "good" public school in our area, but I am still wrestling with the question of what criteria truly account for a "good" school. How can I really, fairly evaluate the effectiveness of a school in educating, challenging, motivating? So I go to www.greatschools.net and compare their school ratings, which are based on test scores within a particular state. But test scores seem inadequate... don't we have to look at who is taking the tests? And all I can come up with is that schools with more "economically disadvantaged" students score worse than other schools. For whatever reason, but there it is. So the "wealthier" students get huddled together by their well-intentioned parents in certain school districts and neighborhoods, or withdrawn from the public school system altogether as is so common here in Savannah, and the other schools suffer for the lack of diversity.

Isn't it entirely possible to have a great school/teacher doing their best with kids who just don't score well on tests - whose parents aren't involved or who have bad attitudes or who live under the burden of poverty? And isn't it possible to have so-so teachers/schools churning out great test scores simply by virtue of the kids they have to work with - motivated kids with involved parents and/or resources? The private schools don't even take the same tests or release the results, and each state takes different tests, so you can't truly compare public vs private or across state lines. How do you really know if a school is "good?" Maybe look at its graduates - where do they go from there? How motivated and "successful" are they?

And then I wonder about even the good public schools. Can I trust the textbooks? The teachers? Will someone with an agenda try to indoctrinate my kids into their way of thinking? Not to sound paranoid, but people's worldviews affect their presentation and interpretation of everything, deliberately or not. Who will be teaching my kids what?

Probably, with all these questions, the easiest thing to do is to go the private route if feasible financially. Or to homeschool (I couldn't possibly!). But I went to public school and turned out alright. And I value the experience of different cultures and want my kids to appreciate that, too. Now I know times are different, but I also know God is the same, and maybe, just maybe, I can trust him with my little ones even when I don't have all the answers the way I would like. So for now our best option is the public school, and we will give it a chance. We will be involved and monitor things closely and pray fervently and go from there.

Costume Fright

I was perusing the child costumes on Ebay today to get some ideas for Halloween. As I searched the 3T boys' category, a costume entitled "pimp daddy" showed up. Out of curiousity I clicked on it, thinking surely the costume was an adult size mistakenly placed in the 3T section. But no, it was for size 3 and pictured a little boy in the costume. So now I'm asking myself, who in their right mind dresses up their sweet little boy as a pimp?!?! As Will likes to say, "What the heck?" Something is very wrong with the world.

Summer Vacation

Our family went on vacation recently, driving from Savannah to Pittsburgh in about 16 hours over two days. "Two days of forever" as Jon has said. We hadn't been on a big trip since before the kids can remember, so it was exciting for all (except Evan, who is not impressed by such things yet). I must admit the drive reawakened my love for moving about in the world. The call of the open road, seeing the landscape, pondering the possibilities that lie ahead, meeting people along the way... like the miner with his arthritic Australian Shepherd who ran after the ball Anna and Will threw for him at a rest area; or the friendly Pittsburghers who welcomed us at their home for the church picnic; or the West Virginian who took our picture at the scenic overlook. You realize the distance between us is greater and lesser than you might have imagined.

Anna and Will had a great time, although they didn't think it should have taken so long to get to Aunt Heidi and Uncle Gary's house. They marveled at seeing mountains for the first time and how the rocks looked like giant stairs; they were excited to stay in a hotel twice; they were in awe of all their cousins' toys. They loved the dinosaurs, amusement park rides, polar bears and tigers... skyscrapers, the Children's Museum, driving through tunnels, swinging, eating out. What more could a kid want? Oh, right. Now they're asking when we can go to Disney World!

Potty Talk

Somewhere along the way in the greening of America, someone came up with the genius idea of automatic flush toilets. Let me just say it was not a parent of small children. Sure, initially it sounds like a good idea... save some water, increase cleanliness, whatever. But the fact is these toilets were not engineered for the 40-pound people who may need to sit on them.

So we're at a restaurant for lunch today and Will has to go potty. We walk into the restroom and I notice the automatic flusher, but refrain from commenting so as not to induce a Refusal To Potty. Will sits down and starts to "go" and in a minute the potty flushes, much to his displeasure. Luckily it was not a loud flush like some toilets make. The toilet flushed three times while he was on it, stressing out the little guy so he couldn't even finish his business and using extra water for no good reason.

Anna and Will have actually Refused To Potty on various occasions upon noticing an automatic flushing toilet, and I can't say that I blame them. The only thing worse than the auto-flusher might be the automatic hand dryer, especially those high-powered ones that threaten to damage your hearing while saving the environment. Will accidentally walked underneath an auto-dryer recently and had no kind words to say about it! Wouldn't it be nice to have an override switch available or an old-fashioned alternative as a back-up plan when needed? I know my kids would appreciate it.

Helpless Babes

What strange creatures we are - born so helpless and totally dependent, unlike other critters who hit the ground running as it were. If not for the care of other (adult/parental) people we would surely die (ok, except for the anomaly raised by wolves, I suppose). What is the point of it? Is there some reason for being born so needy? Maybe to teach us that we are totally interdependent upon one another, to foster community living, to try to keep us humble. "No man is an island." Maybe we can also see our spiritual condition through the lens of the natural... We must be born again - then what? "Crave pure spiritual milk," grow up in the faith, live in the community of the church, be nurtured by "older" Christians. There is so much to learn, so many ways to grow...

Motivation?

Motivation. How do you instill it, teach it? Where does it come from? Is it innate or can it be learned? The people who "get ahead" in life are not necessarily the smartest, but they are motivated. They have vision. But where do they get it from?

I remember my first-year roommate at college told me upon meeting that she wanted to be an aerospace engineer. What?? The idea of that occupation wasn't even on my radar - maybe that's one of the many perks of going to a big, well-funded school system (Northern VA vs. coastal SC). But she had vision. I just had some ideas and stuff I liked to do, but no clear vision of how to fit them together. Sure I made better grades, but she was working toward something real. (Not sure how she fared as we lost contact).

Will, our three-year-old, is motivated to achieve, to be "big", to do whatever Anna (five years old) can do. He's our go-getter so far. Anna, our firstborn, is the observer, cautious and calculated, not too excited about taking risks. Is that just a benign, natural personality difference or can we/ should we seek to get her more motivated? Don't know. All I know is, as a parent there are a million things to analyze, evaluate, and puzzle over, and few clear answers.

Life and Death and Numbers

Farrah Fawcett was 62. Michael Jackson was 50. My dad is turning 69 on Sunday, and just found out the growth that was removed from his voicebox Wednesday was cancer. The surgeon thinks he removed all of it, and the prognosis at this point is good. Radiation treatments will begin in a couple weeks after Dad's throat has healed from the surgery.

Everyone knows the end will come, for our loved ones, for us. Yet it still manages to surprise us. We live like it will never happen, pushing the inevitable far to the back of our minds. And yet we will surely die. Are we ready? What number will we make it to? 96? 54? 33? 18? Who will rescue us from this body of death? We can have hope in Jesus who conquered death. He died to pay the penalty for our sins (to fulfill the requirements of justice), and rose from the grave to new life (so that we might have that life, too). He promises eternal life for all who believe in Him. There is hope in place of despair. Are you ready?

Blue Dog Confession

Will has been missing Blue Dog recently. Blue Dog, you might remember, is a tiny blue plastic dog that Will used to take everywhere, and who has gone missing many times. He was lost again a couple months ago, much to everyone's dismay. But it seemed that Jon and I were more distressed than Will at the time. So when I found BD in Will's closet, Jon and I decided to hide him for posterity and for our own peace of mind. Blue Dog is safe and sound in a little dish in my room, though poor Will thinks he's missing. And every once in a while Will talks about BD and I say "I'm sure he's around here somewhere." Is that just terrible or what? I feel sad for Will and guilty for my secret, but what about all the time we've spent searching for the little piece of plastic? Can we risk losing him again? Won't it be cool to bring him out later in the future and reminisce? Have I lost my mind that I've spent so much time contemplating the fate of a small plastic dog?

Story of our Breastfeeding Challenge

Ok, so Evan is now almost eight weeks old and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We've had challenges (to say the least) with breastfeeding, but he is doing much better. Evan was unable to latch properly, for some reason, until he was six weeks old. We worked with a wonderful lactation consultant who provided great advice and encouragement. Our routine was to nurse Evan, then pump, and then cup-feed him the milk that was pumped - a process taking 45 minutes to an hour - every two to three hours. It was very difficult to keep up with - especially with Anna (5) and Will (3) running around - but I had help from friends and family. Still I was pretty much tied to the house, in an endless cycle of feeding or getting ready to feed the baby.

Someone asked me why I stuck with it for so long, and the reasons are many... First, I know that breastmilk is the best food for babies, and researchers are always finding new benefits for both baby and mom. Also, I had breastfed Anna and Will, so I knew it could be done. Convenience - I can't imagine having to pack up formula, prepare it, wash bottles over and over. Frugality - have you seen how much formula costs?! Why spend that money when I have a free supply of the best food anyway? Stubbornness - I had decided, and could not give in to quitting no matter how discouraged I became.

I am happy to say that Evan is now eating like a champ - it was well worth the effort! So maybe our story can encourage someone else to stick with it if they are struggling with breastfeeding. Get expert help right away if you need it - there are different techniques and aids available to help you make it work. Oddly enough, breastfeeding does not necessarily come naturally or easily, though it really seems to me that it should! There are enough immediate and long-term benefits for baby and mom to make it worth any trouble. For a good website on the subject go to http://www.drjacknewman.com/.

Selling the Old Casa

Today we closed the sale of our old house on Holiday Drive... isn't that a friendly name for a street? We sold the place to a nice older lady who really seemed to love it (and the colors we painted the rooms), who has lots of grandkids who will be visiting her there. I'm happy to have the financial burden of two mortgages removed, and happy to have all my furniture at home now - especially my kitchen table!

But it was a sad day, too. This was the first house that Jon and I bought. We did all the landscaping (by "we" I mean mainly Jon, of course!) and the plants, trees, and hedges are all nice and tall and well-established now. It was the house I brought my first two babies home to, and I can still picture them crawling and toddling through the yard and rooms. It was a good, solid house in an older and friendly, though not so trendy, neighborhood. Perhaps I am a sentimental fool, but I will miss my old house even as I rejoice at selling it and enjoy my new one.

The Birth Story of Evan Michael

On the evening of Friday, April 24 I started having contractions, which I thought would translate into giving birth on Saturday afternoon, which I thought was odd given that Anna and Will had both started with contractions during the daytime and entered the world in the early dark morning hours. Anyway... Saturday the contractions stopped and I was bummed, though still excited, knowing that we could only be getting closer to the birth.

So Saturday evening it started up again and I employed my Hypnobirthing visualizations to maximize the effect of each contraction/surge. At 12:30 am the contractions were strong enough to wake me up. About 1:00 am I woke Jon up to time them and found they were 4 minutes apart and 1.5 minutes long. So we were farther along than the recommended 5 minutes apart, 1 minute long guideline. Time to call the midwife... Nancy said she'd meet us at the birth center in about 30 minutes. We called Jon's mom to come stay with Anna and Will, got our stuff together, and headed off in the darkness. Fortunately we only live 10 minutes fro the birth center because as we drove the contractions got stronger and I started to get a tingly sensation. I told Jon to hurry. Turning into the birth center, my water broke in the van - I'd had the good sense to sit on a big underpad that caught it and saved the upholstery!

I didn't think I would make it inside the birth center, but Nancy said I had to so I did somehow. Made it back to the first bedroom, lay down on the bed, got my shorts off, and told Nancy and Jon I had to push. Nancy said to try not to push yet since she didn't even have her gloves on yet. So I tried, but Evan was ready for his grand entrance, and Nancy managed to get her gloves on just in time to catch him! Ta da! How exciting!

So much for my vision of trying out the birth tub for relaxation, using the blue room, listening to my Hypnobirthing CD, gazing at my photo of Anna and Will for inspiration... We were there five minutes and had a baby - which was kinda cool and such a relief and really quite comical all at the same time. Evan was born at 2:24 am and we didn't even have a boy's name settled upon, so we had to figure that out. By 7:00 am the nurse told us we could go home when we were ready, which we did after eating bacon, egg and cheese biscuits for breakfast.

Some people have said they couldn't believe I was going to a birth center and midwives, etc, but the funny thing is that I wouldn't have made it to a hospital anyway! And I'm so glad for my choices all along the way through the pregnancy.

Induce or Wait?

Ok, so I have about a week and a half left til Baby #3 is due. Feeling huge and ready to meet our new little one. Someone asked me, "You're not going to be induced? You're just going to wait?" Well, yes. It's not like I'm two weeks overdue or anything unusual is going on. Doesn't it make sense to let nature take its course? To let a body that was designed with one of its functions being to give birth decide when the right time is to achieve that goal? Why schedule it, rush the process, introduce further complications if not necessary? My answer to my friend was "Oh, no! Being induced only makes it harder." I think she was surprised. I find it annoying that optional medical intervention has become such the norm; that doctors can in good conscience somehow convince women that "something must be done", that giving birth is not normal, natural, and healthy for the vast majority of cases. It's irresponsible and self-serving, if you ask me - which, of course, you didn't.

Preparing for Kindergarten

On Thursday I attended the kindergarten orientation where Anna - my firstborn, my first baby - will be going to school in the fall. There were several times I nearly cried. Anna was with me, and I marveled over how someone can seem so "big" and yet so "little" all at the same time. She is very excited about her "new school" and had fun with Ms. Judy (whom we already know personally) - listening to a story and making a paper bag puppet while I listened to the presentations by teachers and staff. Anna was impressed by how artistic the school appeared, with student work and projects on display throughout. I was impressed by the teachers and principal as they spoke of challenging every student no matter at what level they are (I have wondered if Anna will be bored in kindergarten after the great preschool she has attended).

But just being in the school cafeteria reminded me of my early days of elementary school - happy memories, but a level of independence Anna has not yet known. Is she really ready for this? In my head I am confident that she is and she will do great; but in my heart it is harder to watch her stretch her wings and move farther beyond me. What if someone is mean to her (as one day someone is sure to be)? What if something unpleasant happens (as is a normal part of life)? Anna is cautious and sensitive like me, only stronger than I was at her age. She will be fine. I know it. But it is so hard to let go, if even just a little bit at a time.

What You Believe

I was listening to Glenn Beck the other day on the radio, and he mentioned an article (sorry - can't remember where it was from) predicting the decline of Christianity in our culture within the next 10 years - as much as a 50% loss of membership for evangelical churches, following a great decline in mainline Protestant denominations. The author cited the fact that the evangelical church has too closely alligned itself with certain social/political agendas - to the point that many members can far more easily tell you their stance on key social issues than they can articulate the meaning of the gospel message. Glenn's point was to be sure to know what you believe and why and then stand strong in it.

The thought of such a decline in Christianity troubles me - not so much for the sake of the church or the "religion", as I know God will not be cheated of His own. He is able to preserve His people. But I would mourn more for the loss to our nation... a loss of foundation, of values, of needed restraint. Sure, nonbelievers can have good morals, but on what are they truly based? When the time of crisis comes, will they be able to stand on conviction or will they be swayed by circumstance and relativism? There is a reason why socialism and communism attack churches.

So, what do you believe? Do you know? If you go to church, do you know why? Do you have an inkling of the corruption of your soul and the far greater provision of God's grace through Jesus, the Messiah? Do you know there is Truth that is absolute, unshakable, unyielding? Do you rest on the firm foundation of God's love for us all? If you do, then reaffirm your beliefs and share them with those around you. Pass it on. If not, then take the time to examine yourself, explore the gospel message, ask questions, get answers. Lord, have mercy on us all.

tiny things

So now I'm realizing that we may have a new baby by the end of next month (!), and I'm starting to get more prepared. Yesterday Anna, Will, and I pulled out their gender-neutral baby clothes so I could wash them and have them ready. Anna and Will could hardly believe they used to fit into such tiny little clothes. They giggled and marveled over the thought of it as they pulled out their "favorites" to show me. And I, too, though this will be my third baby, can scarcely grasp how my preschoolers once wore those tiny socks and onesies... or what little creature will wear them yet!

The Season of Lent

Now it is Lent, a 40-day period in the church calendar during which Christians are encouraged to reflect specifically on the sufferings of Jesus in preparation for Easter. Although I was raised Catholic (or maybe because of it), I am not a huge proponent of church "traditions" and such. Since I became aware of the truth of the gospel, I have mainly been taught and influenced by more contemporary, evangelical varieties of Christianity. That being said, I am now a member of the Lutheran church (Wisconsin Synod for those who know the difference), and can appreciate the richness and depth of meaning that is highlighted by understanding the significance of liturgy, seasons, etc.

I have trouble deciding what to "give up" for Lent - again perhaps because of my Catholic upbringing and resentment of it. I try to settle on something, and before I know it, Lent is half over so why bother? But still it is good to be mindful, consciously aware during this time, of the tremendous sacrifice and suffering that Jesus endured for our sake, out of love for us, to bring us from darkness into His eternal light and life.

I have also found that the observance of Lent tends to make Easter even more amazing. Just as you can't truly know good without evil, or light without darkness, concentrating on the passion and suffering of Jesus serves to accentuate the shining brilliance of the resurrection on Easter morning. So I find it helpful and beneficial to my experience of the faith to observe Lent - even if I can't decide on something to "give up."

About Birthing Babies

When I was pregnant with Anna, my firstborn, I remember weighing my birthing options, none of which sounded all that great to me. Hospital, epidural, c-section, natural childbirth. I quickly concluded there was no really good way to get the baby out into the world. What's a girl to do? Not being one who enjoys being a "patient" too much, and having a sister-in-law who was a proponent of midwives, I set out to educate myself. I read books like "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer, watched videos, asked questions, etc. My eyes were opened.

I realized that we women, with all our highly touted freedom of "choice" and civil rights, often just follow along like sheep, accepting what the "professionals" feed us. They are the experts, after all. Never mind that women have been birthing babies since humanity began. When you examine the methods and results and motivations (sure, the doctor can induce you on Monday so he/she doesn't have the inconvenience of being called in on the weekend in the middle of the night) - you start to see that a lot of the accepted "normal" procedures don't make a lot of sense.

Have you ever wondered why women in labor are supposed to lie on their backs? It's for the doctor's convenience - it's probably the least comfortable position to be in while pregnant. Labor can be induced, but then it's more painful. So they give you an epidural, which requires you to be hooked up to all kinds of monitors because you are so out of touch with your body that you don't even know when to push and have to be instructed to do so. All the intervention increases your chances of having a c-section - major surgery that typically is harder to recover from than a natural birth.

As for the pain, much of it is brought on by our own fear, which causes the body to tense up and resist its own natural abilities. Many women in other countries who are not taught to fear childbirth are able to give birth to their babies with no pain at all. For those of us not so fortunate, there is a method called Hypnobirthing which teaches women how to relax fully and allow their bodies to do the work they know how to do and were designed for - with minimal or even no pain at all. There are also other techniques, such as water, breathing, and various positions that minimize discomfort during labor - many of which you lack the freedom to employ at a regular hospital birth.

There are so many options available to women who would take the time and effort to do a bit of research and thinking. Maybe you'd still choose a hospital, full intervention childbirth, but at least you would know the alternatives and make an informed decision. I have chosen to use midwives and a birth center for my babies and would have it no other way. I have enjoyed freedom to move about, eat, drink, position myself as I desired, no needles or invasive monitors, quick easy labor in a friendly environment, returning home the same afternoon, speedy recovery time. Approximately 85% of pregnancies are normal and healthy and would be able to benefit from the same natural childbirth experience - if the mother were educated and so inclined.

The truth shall set you free. Educate yourself.

What kids say...

For my birthday I got a new cell phone - a Blackberry Curve, which I'm still learning about. The next morning on my way to take Anna and Will to school, Anna commented, "I see you've got a Blackberry." (It was sitting out where she could see it.) I could not imagine where she learned what a Blackberry was, being only four - almost five - years old! She followed that up with, "Did you know you can do email on that?" I was floored - maybe I should have Anna teach me how to use it!

Will has become quite the big boy. Ask him what he wants to be when he grows up and he'll tell you "a fireman" so he can drive a fire truck. As we drive around, he happily points out all the big trucks and tells me "I want one of those trucks."

Thoughts on Freedom & the Economy

"The land of the free." What does it mean to be free, in a societal sort of way? Here in America we have many freedoms... freedom to pursue happiness and success along with the freedom to fail. Bummer. No one wants to fail. But we have that freedom, or at least we have historically had that freedom. The freedom to fail is important because just like you don't fully appreciate or understand light without darkness, or good without evil, you can't have real success without failure (or at least the possibility of it). People can learn valuable lessons from failures and mistakes that make them better people and more able to succeed in the future.

But now instead of inspiration, motivation, or other encouragement, our country continues down a path of appeasement, enablement, victim mentality, hand-outs and bail-outs. Individuals "can't make it on their own" (although our new, highly acclaimed president is a great example of someone making it on his own) so we give tax rebates to those who didn't pay any taxes (logic here?). Corporations are "too big to fail" so the government (or, more correctly, those of us who do pay taxes) finances them and props them up. I am afraid we are leaving behind the ways of free market capitalism that have made this country great, innovative, resourceful, and powerful. The market adjusts and rebounds and moves on; the government nationalizes, controls, creates dependency, and grows bigger and bigger while individual freedom diminishes.

What exactly is the reasoning behind a stimulus package? Give money to people so they will spend it, which will "stimulate the economy" (meaning give money to businesses so they can prosper and create more jobs, etc). Right? So why not let the government keep its money (that it doesn't even really have), give tax breaks to the businesses so they can prosper, create jobs, and everyone makes more money without adding to our already out-of-control national debt? I guess the politicians just want consumers to have more goodies and toys immediately so they can say they've "done something" and we can have more distractions to numb us to the fact that they're screwing up everything.

Let us be free. Free to succeed. Free to fail. Free to spend our own money as we see fit. Let freedom reign!

Dreading the Glucose Test

This Thursday I go to the Birth Center for my group meeting/appointment and dreaded glucose test. I failed my glucose test while pregnant with Anna and ended up having to prick my finger three times a day for three months while counting carbs/sugars. Not fun. I was a bit wiser when I was pregnant with Will - having learned that the test is not a good test on several levels and there are certain steps you can take to make passing it more likely - and managed to pass, thus avoiding finger pricks and rigid diet. So here we go again... will I pass or fail? Ugh!

Will is all better now - had his surgery to remove the port from his chest on Friday. He has been just fine until today, and now he seems like he's come down with something else! Hopefully it is a quick little virus that will be gone tomorrow. No more hospitals, please (though I am certainly thankful for the hospital and everyone)!

A Whole New Year

Ah, a new year, new opportunities, new days to fill and stories to create. For one thing, I have a new haircut. And Will goes to the doctor on Monday, hopefully to have his port removed so we can establish a new routine of normalcy. We hope to sell our old, but lovely house really soon ($132,000; 3 br 1.5 bath; 1565 sq ft; large fenced backyard; Southside of Savannah - let me know if you or anyone you know might be interested!). I will start a new routine for work... working from home primarily. And, of course, a new baby will be joining us in the spring. And those are just the new things we know about or are planning for. The new year brings many opportunities for change and growth and learning.

Resolutions? For one thing, I know I need to eat healthier. I've been dreadfully craving sweets, especially chocolate, for the past couple months, but I really want to avoid the trouble of gestational diabetes, which I was diagnosed with during my pregnancy with Anna (though not with Will). So I know I need to step up my efforts to improve my diet, and manage to exercise more. It should be easier somewhat when the kids are back in school next week as I will have some time to myself again.

So I face the new year with hope and trepidation. Hope because it's a new start and "with God all things are possible." And trepidation because I don't trust the chosen politicians and leaders to accomplish anything worthwhile anytime soon, other than making a bad situation even worse. :) Happy thought. But it is what it is. Life is good. It's all good. And whatever other current saying you want to throw in there. Happy New Year and best wishes to all!