Not Playing Nice

Well, Anna had a bad day at school today. Apparently she's had several bad days lately that she hasn't told me about, which explains why she had the mysterious "I just don't feel good" this morning while she begged to stay home. Apparently the girls at school are not playing with Anna. She said she asks them if she can play and they tell her "no". Ugh! I hate that! Why would anyone not want to play with my sweet little angel? Ok, seriously, nobody's perfect, but can't they all play together nicely?? Anna's two best friends from last year are not in her class this year, so she's sad about that, too. What's a parent to do??

September 11, 2001

The shock and horror of the realization of what had happened.

The utter unreality of it.

Going to work at Friedman's Jewelers in the Statesboro Mall.

Employees and customers hand in hand in a giant prayer circle in the middle of the mall. Praying. Blinking in disbelief. Wishing it weren't true.

Knowing the world would never be the same.

Parents as Servant-Leaders

Lately I've been considering my role as a mother, and how best to impact my kids for a successful future as mature, involved adults. And I've been coming back to the biblical idea of the servant-leader. Jesus, of course, is the best example of this. He led and influenced large numbers of people, while also humbling himself to serve them (like when he washed his disciples' feet). I think this model fits the role of a parent quite well as we seek to lead our little ones through the maze of social customs, moral values, and general education, all the while serving them as their primary care-givers responsible for their nurturing in every way.

I am trying to be mindful of this ideal when I am getting up for the tenth time during dinner to clean up the spilled milk and provide a refill. Or when nightmares and funny noises and lovies that have fallen off the bed conspire to keep me from a good night's sleep. Or when dirty diapers need changing or someone has gotten sick on the couch. Not really fun times or good times, but important, serving times. The exact times when the servant side of the servant-leader is best displayed. We can find joy (not fun or happiness necessarily) in those times knowing we are following Jesus' example in caring for our little ones and putting them first. When we are not feeling the love, He can provide it for us.

The servant-leader idea is a bit of a balancing act. It is important not to overplay one side or the other. Too much servant, and you become a doormat with spoiled, bratty kids. Too much leader (authority), and you become a tyrant with resentful, fearful kids. The trick is to get it just right (or close), somewhere in the middle. The balance is where you lead in love and strength controlled; where you serve in love to lift them up.

It is others-centered rather than self-centered. It is impossible on our own. But by grace, when we trust in God, He can enable and empower us in this great task of shaping and equipping our kids to realize their potential and become productive, compassionate, responsible adults ready to take their place in society.

The Fry is Falling! The Fry is Falling!

Today, as I sat in the soft play area of the Oglethorpe Mall, a French fry landed on the floor a few feet in front of me with no one standing nearby. I don't know where it came from. I glanced around and didn't notice anyone looking impishly guilty. I don't know why I didn't walk over and pick it up to prevent some innocent little kid from eating it off the floor. I just sat there, contemplating it. And then, suddenly, a sparrow flew down to the carpet, looked around for a split second, grabbed the fry, and flew up and away. Seriously. It was very surreal. After a while I saw the little guy again and watched him flit into the yummy pretzel shop, no doubt looking for some cinnamon and sugar pretzel bits.

End of Summer Resolutions

The winds of change are blowing; I can feel it in my bones. It's my 10th wedding anniversary today, the start of a new decade of my life, back to school time. I'm ready to make some changes, do things a bit differently and get some new and improved results, take on the world! Why make resolutions in the bleak winter? Why not at the end of the oppressively hot summer, when the promise of cooler, invigorating autumn teases and beckons (ok, I live in South Georgia where we won't actually feel any autumn coolness until late October or so)? I hereby resolve - ever so resolutely - to eat only when hungry (or just a little bit for the sake of social courtesy). I resolve to try to go to bed earlier (does it count as a resolution if you only try?). I resolve to work on my career path again. I resolve to savor every moment, to live deeply, to love richly, to be more thankful, to give more freely. I resolve to be a bit nicer - to myself and to others. I resolve to blog more often and to work on my photo albums with renewed fervor. I resolve to train my dogs - with the help of my daughter (whose hero is Victoria Stillwell, dog trainer). Resolutions or wishlist? I don't know. But for the moment I'm feeling inspired, invincible, capable, empowered! Tomorrow, we'll see...

Rambling About Time

Wow - it's August already and I only managed to write one post in all of July! Sure I have reasons and excuses like anyone else... kids, part time job, my other blog on coastalmommies.com, kids, etc. Well today I don't have a topic in mind, but just wanted to write something so here goes...

It's my hubby's birthday today - happy birthday, Jon!!! The big 40! And soon we will celebrate 10 years of wedded bliss. Can't believe how time flies. I was flipping through an old photo album earlier - from 1995 to 1997 maybe. Old friends, old memories, old pets, movie stubs (remember $3.50 matinees?). Parts of it seem so long ago, but other parts are like yesterday. Still I can't help but look at the old photos of Jon and me and wonder who were those kids?!?! It's funny to look at the past, knowing their future is now the present. Ok, weird. Of course, today is tomorrow's past, too, so let's live it to the fullest so we can later look back with fond sentimentality.

Gluttons For Our Doom

Today I drove past a woman who was waiting at the bus stop. She was obese and smoking a cigarette, and my thought was, why are we so bent on our own destruction? Surely she knew that smoking - as well as the extra weight - can kill her. Surely she realizes that she should probably eat healthier and exercise more. It's easy to know things, even easy to desire to do things, but getting the right things done is the hard part.

As the Indigo Girls sang, "No one can convince me we aren't gluttons for our doom." It applies to every aspect of life - physical, emotional, spiritual. We have bad habits, hang-ups, attitudes, etc that we know are harmful to us and yet we persist. We all have issues. We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, to take it up a notch. To paraphrase the apostle Paul, the good that I want to do, I do not do....but the very thing I do not want to do is exactly what I do! Who can help us out of this predicament? By grace, through faith alone (not by what we do so no one can take credit for it), God has saved us through Jesus' life and death and resurrection.

Jesus makes us right with God in the big picture. In the day to day smaller picture we still get our heads befuddled because we still wrestle with our own sin nature. But we can live in the sure hope that He has set us free, He is setting us free, and ultimately He will set us free. Thanks be to God! Amen!